Future Paths

Hi! I've missed you!

My news for today, well I have a few pieces for you.

First, I didn't get into the Bachelor of Fine Arts program at the university here in my town. This year. I was sad. And then I got really clear that this is what I want. And, over the past couple of weeks since, I've realized a couple of other things too. That I played it safe and small with my portfolio submissions, even though I was told that the school was looking for contemporary images. The other is that I have other options available to me, now that I have a year to work on my portfolio. At the moment, I am considering a one year visual arts certificate, followed by a two year graphic design program. I know! So fun!

Second, my sweetie and I have been talking seriously about starting our own photography business. He's been such a champion of my art and my photography, and his creative side grows bigger everyday. Sorry, let me correct myself. We aren't talking about it, we are taking action on it. Making it happen. Now, to get past being stuck on a company name...

Here's some pics I took a few weeks ago at the resort we will be married at... in less than 4 weeks!!! We were practicing our professional skills on our friends who came to visit the resort with us. (aka, chasing them around with our cameras like a couple of paparazzi :)

I can totally see these as engagement photos, or wedding photos.

It's been fun, we've been hitting up outdoor events and acting like we were hired to be there. It's great practice and a chance for both of us to get comfortable with the idea that
WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Oh, one more piece of news. I am starting an etsy shop to sell prints of some of my photos! I've created my store, I'm getting my paypal account all linked up and then I will have to choose which pics to post first. I will probably put up about 10 to start.

I would love your feedback!!! What are your favourites of my photographs?? Check out my flickr stream through one of the pics above, or one of the slide shows on the right.

And my question for you today, what paths are you adapting?

Hugs!
Kat

Alphabet Soup - L is for Like

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope to be celebrating with my sweetie tonight over a scrumptious dinner of bison steak and raw oysters! And maybe some baked pear stuffed crepes drizzled with the tiniest amount of melted dark chocolate.

edited in Picnik

And on this day dedicated to Love, I want to talk about Like.

I don't think I learned to fully Love until I better understood Like.

I had all the classic textbook behaviours and responses. Poor boundaries. Letting people in too easily. Sharing my story and my space, too soon. Accepting less than I deserved. Putting their needs before mine. Appeasing. Leaving behind a piece of myself each time I finally walked away.

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes (M&S 1)

Whenever I met someone new, I fell in Love, with the idea. Immediately. I saw everything I wanted, to see. I was blinded.

And so began the dance, the pitch, the performance. Marketing myself, driven by the fear of losing the opportunity.

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

So I started to take care of me. Started to get to know, me. I took myself away for my birthday - stayed at a B&B with a hot tub, took myself out for dinner and bought myself a ring. Because I was beginning to Like me.

And I made lists. Detailed lists of what I wanted. Which helped me become more Discerning. Still, I was giving too many chances. Stuck on the possibility. Wanting to prove myself right.

Then, finally, I turned that corner. Realized that I would rather assume guilt, until innocence was proven. Or, rather, Unknown until proven Known. Love was allowed to rest on the shelf, until Like had entered the room.

And chances were not given. It was freeing, to decide "I Don't Like".

And so I will be found
With my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine (M&S 2)

That's when I met the Love of my Life. In the most common of places. I took my time deciding if I truly Liked him. All of him. And he was busy teaching me about Love.

Now I have both, Like and Love. I don't think I could have had one without the other.

And when I started to realize that I truly Liked me, our Love blossomed even more.

How glad I was to be myself
And use my heart once more

And love that (man) that I adore

Well my eyes shall see light again
And my heart shall bleed right again (M&S 3)

1. Mumford and Sons - Awake my Soul
2. Mumford and Sons - Roll Away your Stone
3. Mumford and Sons - Banjolin Song

Creative and Expressive

This post is a lovely mishmash of many wonderful things.

1. It is a reminder of the creative challenges going down over here in my hood :)

• An expressive photo/art challenge. I am accepting photos, or photos of art pieces, that express or capture JOY! They can be emailed to me until Jan.31 at creativelysensitive@gmail.com. I will post them up for your viewing, and voting. The winner will receive... drum roll... one of my photos! (I've received two photos so far!)

• Creativity Forward challenge. I signed on for a Pay it Forward program through Jodi at Living Life Photographically. The ideas is that the first three people who contact me and request to be involved, by comment or by email, will receive something hand made by me. They then create something handmade for three people, and so on. (There are still two spots left on my dance card!)

2. It is a share of an amazing project I found in my blog wanderings today. A year of expressing and spreading love. Check it out! The Love Project. Super excited! I have a feeling it's going to get ridiculously big!

3. It is my Monday Music Moves Me share. Staying on my theme, of course! :)

Alphabet Soup - B is for Boyfriend

The subject for this post was picked last week. Alas, here I sit not wanting to write it. I am feeling sad, lonely, and frustrated. I've decided that I must follow through. Perhaps by writing this post I will pry myself loose and remember why I was so eager and excited to write it and share it with you in the first place.

There is a wonderful man in my life. After fifteen years or so, of poor choices and questionable boundaries, I met the man of my dreams. We had a whirlwind romance, and our ever expanding mash-up of friends love when we retell our story, from both sides. Perhaps I will post the whole thing at some point in the future. The condensed version is that we met in line at the grocery store and had a great laugh together, and an instant connection. It was just before my birthday last year, and we were headed to two separate birthday parties: mine, and a very close friend of his. This year we celebrated those birthdays together.

It's been like a roller coaster for us. Lots of hanging on tight and facing down the fear, a lot of incredible highs and exhilaration, and the realization of the strength you've gained from staying on the ride. So in celebration of the past 14 months together, 7 of which I now realize we've been co-habitating, here are 14 things I love about, and am grateful for in my partner:

1. I love that you have stood by me through my breakdown and rebuilding
2. I am grateful that my feeling "safe" was so important to you from the moment we started dating
3. I love how much you have challenged yourself and how much you have grown in the time that I have known you
4. I am so grateful that you made it look effortless to create a safe kitchen for me, first in your place and then in ours.
5. I love that you brush your teeth the instant you walk in the door so you can kiss me without fear of what you ate in the outside world, and that you didn't even flinch when I first asked you to do this
6. I am so grateful for the appearances, with nutrition and encouragement, on my very long runs when I was training for my very first marathon
7. I love that every time I asked you if I would complete the marathon, with so much doubt in my own voice, you always had a steadfast yes.
8. I am so grateful that you treated me kindly every time I wanted to run from this relationship, even when one of those attempted break-ups was in the middle of your dear friends' wedding.
9. I love that after one of those near-endings, you held me in your sleep, the entire night. I think that is when I truly fell in love with you.
10. I am so grateful for your patience with me after the breakdown, when I couldn't even bear to be touched
11. I love that you can be ridiculously silly, and I love how much we laugh, and how hard we laugh sometimes.
12. I am so grateful that being active and being outdoors is important to you, and that you love doing these things together. I love that part of the excitement with your newest hobby is that it's something we can do together as well.
13. I love how much you love your friends, and how much love they have for you, and now for me too.
14. I am so grateful that you are the kind of man who would drag a full size cooler through a high star hotel's lobby for me, because you knew it would make me safe and happy.

Now here I am, my eyes welling, finally freed from my black and white thinking of the past couple of days. I have an incredible, intelligent, affectionate man who admires me greatly and encourages me to soar. Ok, so maybe communication is not one of our strong suits at times, and luckily forgiveness is. I think we want so much to take care of each other that we get a little lost when trying to ask for what we need ourselves. Hey, we can't be all awesome, all the time, can we? :)

So here's to my man and me, and to you for keeping me honest.

A tribute to me and my maverick's first year together.