Alphabet Soup - J is for JOY

Alphabet Soup Sunday is growing and evolving. I think they would be more aptly named Alphabet Soup of the Soul now, as they share a little insight into me, are often somewhat cathartic, and tend to appear a lot closer to Monday than Sunday ;)

I woke up this morning happy, no, excited. I woke up excited this morning. Kind of like this:

I woke to the birds and the best of intentions.

I will try every way I know to express them.

Adapted from Breakthrough

by Isaac Dust

What a fabulous way to start a day!

For starters, today is the last day for submissions to the JOY photo challenge. I will be posting them up for you to indulge in first thing in the morning. That means you still have one more day to grab your cameras, or dig through your photo boxes and media files!

There will be a week of voting to decide the winner, and then? Following that, there will be a week of voting on my potential B.F.A. application/portfolio submissions. I need your help! (insight, feedback, gentle critiques). So exciting!

~***~

Ok, so let's talk about Joy! Here's the plan. I'm going to pour my heart out a little, and share with you what's been going on the past week and a half. Then I'm going to have a bit of a creative projects show and tell. Then I'm going to give it up to you to share some Joy, since it's my favourite topic!

Here's a little something to listen to while you're reading this :) One of my faves, from back in the days...

If you've been reading along with me lately you will know that I've been having a grand ol' time! Conferences and day trips, gaining and gifting blog awards, two excellent days at my dreamy new part-time job, my very first ever guest post and a super fab and swanky date with my sweetie. And, on several occasions I was told that I had made someone's day! All of that crammed into the past 9 days.

It was probably one of the most rewarding weeks I've had. It was also one of the most challenging. That's the beauty of Joy. It carried me through, and I was still able to share it with you.

What you probably didn't see through all this triumph, was me in some wicked Serotonin Withdrawal. If you, or someone you know, is taking, or considering taking, an SSRI (anti-depressant and/or anti-anxiety), please listen up, then go online and do as much research as you possibly can. I thought that I had done well, and was reducing mine carefully. I could have done more to avoid this incredibly intense roller coaster I've been riding for 2-3 weeks.

The first couple of days were great. Then I turned into the Hulk with PMS and a constant low-grade migraine. It started out as a tight head and dizziness, and a slight edge of nausea. Then we threw in some sucky-ness, whiny-ness and the easily weepies. Which could quickly turn to irritability, rage, and explosiveness. Oh, and the self-doubt, unforgivingness and extreme sensitivity to even a whiff of perceived control. (Those last three were a lovely combination with my excellent timing of trying to implement more structure and scheduling into my life!)

Thursday was the worst of it. That moment on the roller coaster when you're slowly click, click, clicking to the top of the biggest hill, and you look down and think, how am I ever going to survive this? Thursday I had an I'm not leaving the house day, well, more like an I'm not leaving my bed day. I couldn't even tolerate light. These are the types of days I had plenty of when I first fell to the mercy of this breakdown. I hadn't had a full cocoon day like this in months. (The quiet also helped me realize that I was also experiencing brain-zaps (paresthesia) which can be best described as a pulse-like shock or shiver).

This is the point when many people coming off of anti-depressants/anti-anxieties give up. They think that maybe they weren't ready. Also, one of the things you might read in the online forums, is people in the middle of withdrawal, swearing that they never would have gone on them in the first place if they knew what it would be like to get off of them. I want to add a little balance to that perspective.

Disclaimer - I am not a doctor, I don't play one on tv, and I'm not sleeping with a drug rep.

• Choosing to go on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication to deal with the Post-Traumatic breakdown was a tough decision. I used to work in mental health services, and I knew logically that they could help get me to a place where I could benefit more from other treatment options, like counselling, art therapy and group work. I am grateful that I was able to see the potential of this first line of defense for myself.
• If you or your doctor feel like you may need to stay on your SSRIs for life because you're "addicted" get a new doctor, asap. Seriously. I have heard this and I have read this. This was never where I was at and I am so grateful. The doctor handling my medication assured me that we would work together to get on them, and off them when the time came.
• Feeling like you haven't made progress, when you're in the middle of a withdrawal, is common. The symptoms are similar. Work with your doctor (one who knows they're stuff thoroughly) and stick through it. If the timing is right, you will get to the other side!
• Eat well. This can be tough if you would rather eat nothing at all, or if all you want is carbs and sugars. Three meals, and snacks in between, that are high in protein and complex carbs and low in fat and simple sugars. This will help keep you balanced as your body is flushing the stores. Acupuncture can help with this too.
• If you can, get your prescriptions filled at a smaller pharmacy where you can build a relationship with the pharmacist. It helped me a lot to know that I could talk to mine whenever I had questions.
  
• Even if you have reduced to the lowest dosage available of your medication, you can still go lower! It is often suggested to reduce to every second day, and then every third. Have patience. Take your time. Going slowly means a happy transition. Otherwise, the alternative is putting a huge strain on your loved ones, and having to buy new shirts when you tear them apart to flex your big green muscles!

At the end of it all, the good news is that I'm medication free. If taken back in time, would I go through it again knowing that the first med would wire me up like a kid on Coke and candy? That I would get incredibly lethargic and irritable whenever I was in the midst of a dosage transition? That not working through the withdrawal as carefully as I could would make we want to hide like a werewolf on the edge of a full moon? Absolutely!

~***~

So let's keep riding this Joy train! Next stop - The Happy Monday Photo Challenge

This is my first week participating and I was really excited about the theme. Sunrise/Sunset. Unfortunately, and understandably, I was melting down a little after a day of errands and country roads yesterday, and needed to be home, instead of out playing with sunsets as I had planned :( Boo. However, keeping on the theme of this post, I am excited to share with you a picture I took in the summer that was an absolute moment of Found Joy.

It was early in the morning, my sweetie was out of town, and I had just woken up from a particularly unsettling nightmare. I got out of bed, restless. I happened to look out the window and was greeted by this wonderful sunrise.

It made my day okay :)


~***~

Here's something a little more recent. I started this on Friday and promised myself I would work on it for 3 days.

The first stage was the most fun! Ribbon, cotton batting, white paint smeared on with a kitchen spatula. Green paint layered on with a fork, yep, a fork, then detailed with rosemary. Yep. Rosemary.

Added some water colour tints. I thought I was done at this point. Until I came out of my poorly lit art space and realized I wasn't :)

Ta da! The finished product. It took guts to go bold with the next layer!

Three pictures, three stages, three days. I'm grateful that I stayed committed to it. I'm gaining a lot more depth through layering, and patience :) All it needs is the dates written into it, and a title. Perhaps, JOY 2011? :)

~***~

Okay, now it's your turn! Please share with me in the comments a quick snippet of something that brings/has brought you Joy! It doesn't have to recent, or it could be something that happened today :)

This video brings me Joy. Ari Hest is my new favourite voice, and watching/listening to him sign with his mom is like being hugged.

Monday's Music Moves Me

Happy Saturday!

Six Word Saturday. Want to play?

JOY photo challenge closes on Monday!

(Click the JOY button, top left)

:)

Had fun playing at Cinderita's yesterday!

(Read my very first guest post!)

Date with my sweetie tonight. Ballet!!

Gone to the Neighbour's

Made sure to leave a note so you could find me :)

Visiting at Cinderitaville.

Thursday 13 - For Starving Artists

Over the past year or more, my ability to work dwindled slowly, until it ultimately became non-existent. I've had to get very creative with little money, and I wanted to share some of my tips and tricks with you!

1. Volunteer - I know, it doesn't seem to make sense right away. Work for nothing? Yes! This has let me continue enjoying the luxuries I would have had to give up. My YMCA membership? I volunteer for two hours a week and in return my monthly gym fees are waived. Every shift I volunteered at our local Fringe Theatre Festival equaled a ticket I could use at one of the shows. My spot on the volunteer registration team at the conference this weekend, gained me access to my workshops and a snazzy t-shirt. Yes, it feels great to give back to my community, and it also feels really good not to feel limited.

2. Paint samples - I love wandering through the water colour aisle at the art store. Daniel Smith often puts out little swatches with a couple dabs of some very gorgeous colours. Warning - you will want to buy them at some point, they are so lovely.

3. Thrift Stores - Yep, we all know they are great for cheap clothes and housewares, hallowe'en costumes and probably some questionable "vintage" or "retro" items. They are also wonderful for some unique art supplies. That painting no-one in their right mind would buy even though it's been marked down to a dollar? Grab it. You can prime the canvas and re-use it. And repurpose the frame if there is one too. Same goes for funky fabrics and textiles. A shirt you might not wear could become your next journal cover. Curtains into pillow covers, you get the idea.

4. Classifieds Online - craigslist, usedeverywhere.com, etc. I like to keep an eye on these for art supplies that are being given away or sold ridiculously cheap. Moving sales, giving up a failed hobby, all things that I could benefit from. These sites are also great if you want to get attention to classes you are offering. Photo artists, you know how expensive all the equipment is. Buy used! It is still out of my price range, though my sweetie picked up his camera body this way at an incredible price, and is often seeing drooling over the next flash or lens he's waiting to find a good deal on.

5. Clothing swaps - I can honestly say that I have not bought a new, and probably not used, piece of clothing in at least a year. Arranging clothing swaps has been so fun, and women are extremely more friendly and generous in these situations than you would expect. They are also very eye opening when it comes to your own self consciousness. That skinny girl in your group you always compare yourself too, might have larger legs than you. And we all celebrate when something looks fabulous on someone. It's like going shopping with a gaggle of your besties, except the joy you get is from watching an item you love find a better home, not from slashed price tags.

6. Grape Seed Oil - Okay, this is going to sound weird. This yummy and antioxidant laden oil is a fabulous beauty tool. I have used it to effortlessly remove heavy make up from my face, and boy was it soft the next day. I use it to lotion my arms, especially after having them waxed. My esthetician tells me that she also uses it as a lotion and adds a little bit of sugar to it. Yum. I've been meaning to use it make my own salt glow too... 1/2 cup of oil, and a cup of fine sea salt. Seriously, that easy.

7. Beauty schools - There are groups of eager students out there willing to offer you their services at ridiculously low rates. This applies to hair and esthetic schools, massage and chiropractic schools, acupuncture and chinese medicine, you name it. You get the comfort of a salon/clinic, and a watchful supervisor.

8. School notice boards - Same thing. Need a website designed so you can promote your new business? Someone is looking for a real live guinea pig. Students trying to build up their skills or portfolios may offer their services for free, and recent graduates looking to build up their clientele means reduced rates for you. Graphics, marketing, accounting, if it's a service you need, someone is out there training in it right now!

9. Bartering - This gets you into gear, in the motions of "selling" your art work and getting it out into the world. I know an artist who has painted a salon window, and traded an art piece for hair cuts. Maybe your dentist needs his daughter's wedding photographed, and you need the fillings and the practice? Talk openly about your art or services, people are the greatest resource.

10. MeetUp.com - There is probably a photography group in your area that could translate into some very affordable marketing for you or your business. At their events, photographers, models and stylists come together to build their portfolios, all at no or low cost. If you are a photographer this means great practice with models and lighting. If you are a clothing or jewelry designer, offer your stuff for a shoot. If you get the permissions, you can use the photos to promote your line. And it will look like you paid a fortune for a professional photographer. Groups could probably also appreciate large art pieces to help change up the background, and practice lighting.

11. Displaying - Some towns have art circles that rotate the art of a group of cafes and restaurants. See if you can get into one. Or, talk to someone at every one that you go into. You might hit on an independent who's desperate to change up their walls. Same goes for business offices. The boring art on your dentist's wall, may be boring to them too and they simply don't know where to look for new material. Perhaps a friend of yours is tired of staring at the Ikea apple triptych in their office lunchroom. Make sure you have wall tags displaying your name, and perhaps a stack of business cards at the counter or nearby. Heck, give framed pieces to all your friends to display in their space at work. I'm sure they would love to talk about the hot new artist the work is from.

12. Groupon - This company is taking the world by storm. Many things I wouldn't be able to afford or experience are offered up at an average of 50% off. The deals come up daily in the city you sign up for, and don't have to be used up immediately. We have tickets sitting at the ready for the Butterfly Gardens. They were half off, which basically meant that my sweetie didn't have to pay for me too.

13. The Dollar Store - What a wonderful place filled with incredibly useful stuff. (Though I try really hard not to think about the small children and families who probably manufacture it, and are the reason the prices are so low). I digress. Yes, it is great for the every day stuff. Did you know you can also find art supplies there too? Tracing paper and sketch paper, paint brushes for gluing, tissue paper for collages. I even picked up a couple of mini canvases at the one near me. You can grab photo boxes and plastic baskets for storing your supplies, or gifting your treasures. Small vases for having at the ready your paint brushes and pencil crayons. And, of course, cheap glasses and mugs you can use to enjoy your wine while you're creating your art. No sweat if they get covered in sticky acrylic finger prints :)

What are your Cheap Tricks?

So much to Enjoy!

Before I tell you some new good news, I want to share something with you. Yesterday was my first day at a new job, in a completely different field of work. It was bliss. There were no children tugging on me, demanding my attention, or sneezing on me. I was able to choose my clothes for the day based on what I felt good in, and looked good in. I didn't have to worry about whether or not my toes were protected from being stomped on, or secure enough to take chase at a moment's notice. My earrings dangled deliciously and my ears were not strained from being on alert for the earliest signs of unrest.

I popped over to Jamie Ridler's site while I was contemplating this, and how apropos that the wish for this week is:

What do you wish to enjoy?

• more of this physical freedom in the workplace.
• being in a positive work environment.
• learning new skills and tackling new challenges.
• teaching people who are eager to learn.
• meeting deadlines.
• asking for help and being supported.
• having my input and ideas respected and sought out.
• being creative and the appreciation of my creativity.
• having energy to live a whole life outside of work

Here's a visual interpretation of how I felt about my work day yesterday and the potential of this new job :) [I was water colour painting with my fingers when I came home from work! You can click through to see the full size on flickr, and the other painting I did with it too].

Okay, one more picture, before I move on to the good news. I was just so excited that I had the energy to art journal after work yesterday. My 365 picture was influenced too :)

Without further ado, drum roll please...
I was given another blog award!
Seriously!

Noel over at French Christmas, the queen of sharing her perceptive perspective in beautiful prose, gave me the

Wow! Thank you Noel. You've always been a supportive cheerleader of me and my writing and I really appreciate it! I'm really looking forward to that moment when you're ridiculously rich and famous from all the books you've written and published, and I can say, I knew you when... :)

The rules. Share seven things about myself. Then pass it on to five other stylish bloggers.

Things about me, huh?

• I love playing board games. Especially creative ones. And ones where a little competition adds to the fun.
  
• I once left the house without any pants on. I was about 9 or 10 and it was a lazy summer morning and I had wandered downstairs to the tv to watch cartoons in nothing but my fave Disney World sweatshirt, and my undies. My sister had to run an errand within walking distance and I distractedly ambled out the door with her. Sadly, I didn't notice until we were on our return. Luckily we hadn't gone back the same way, since that would have meant a second pass through a parking lot full of cute young boys playing road hockey, and giggling. Blush.
• I am the youngest of three children.
• I didn't finish high school.
• If I could have a free pass to eat whatever I wanted for one day without the fear of having a reaction, I would want baked macaroni and cheese, a butterscotch sundae and peanut butter cookies.
• I wear earplugs when I sleep
• I can build a wicked camp fire.
  

That's my seven, now on to my five.

Five fabulous bloggers. I'd love to give a nod to a collection of bloggers who are not in the eye of this blogger award tag storm that's been circling

Sweet Limes - who I met at the beginning of my blogging journey and immediately connected with. Everything she does is stylish. A beautiful, artistic, creative soul.

Cowgirl Red - I've only just met her, and I love the way she shares her innermost thoughts. It makes me feel so much less alone in what I experience. Her fabric creations are stunning, and I hope she doesn't mind if I show up one day at her breathtaking ranch and play cowgirl with her.

Pieces of Me - Jen's photography is just gorgeous! Another fellow reverber who is chasing after their creative dreams. Follow along for some adventures in New York City.

Mujerzen's Blog - At some point during reverb I found my way to this blog. Now I know whenever I stop by I can count on a hit of the most delicious poetry.

Live, Love, TRAVEL - I don't know Jaymi very well. I do want to thank her for sharing not just her beautiful photos. I love that she always explains her photo experiments and projects, making it a great place to be inspired to try something new.

Hope you find one in there that you enjoy as much as I do.

And remember... 5 more days until the JOY photo challenge closes!

Alphabet Soup - I is for Inspired

Wow, what a weekend!

Saturday I attended the every WOMAN 2011 conference. What I thought was going to be simply a day to be physical active, with like minded women, and a chance to try some new types of fitness classes - was so much more than I expected. I've been inspired!

Here's what I learned from the conference:

• I love conferences! When I was a teenager I became involved in leadership conferences, and other youth conferences. The energy was so incredible. I'm realizing that I love it when large groups of people come together to learn (especially when it's about themselves) for a short and intense duration of time.

• I like to be directly involved. It meets my need for belonging and my love of knowing how things work behind the scenes. ***Here's a big tip for all you starving artists - if registration costs are a little too much for you, find out if you can volunteer!*** That's what I did, and it granted me entry and a place on the team. And I am so glad I did. I was able to pop into a dreams to goals workshop that wasn't on my schedule, and it created some wonderful shifts in my perspective!

• Visualization exercises make me teary.

• I want to be an artist. Not quietly in my own space. Like out there on other people's walls, loud and proud, using my eventual BFA for professional gain, not just personal.

• Everything I need is inside of me!

• Hula Hooping is an amazing form of exercise that works muscles that I haven't been able to get at before. And so much fun! We were all laughing and cheering each other on. Even when a couple of us got hit in the face :) Want one, now!!

• Creating more structure in my life will leave me feeling like I have more freedom!

• Feeling controlled still triggers me big time.

• Art Journaling every day is possible, and probable, and can have a valued space in my schedule.

• I'm cute, and I'm okay with it. Cute in the sweet, and adorable way. Like an energetic puppy.

• I like being sexy, and I'm learning to enjoy it and be more refined in how I am. Being sexy isn't something I need to be known as. It's an underlying part of me, and there's a time and a place to vamp it up, and boy do I know how now. Even something as simple as enjoying the way my arm feels to me... is very attractive.

What an amazing experience! So, 5:00 hit that night, and I got right down to my art journaling. Thanks again Emily, for sharing yours and inspiring me. Here's one side of my first entry, using some of the doodling techniques I've been playing with, that captures a bit of what inspired me at the conference...

The amazingness didn't end there. Yesterday, the sweetie and I went on a day trip adventure. As we were preparing everything the night before, he suggested we bring the Drawing Lab book for the ferry ride, since we missed our weekly assignment. Seriously!? I hadn't want to suggest it. Drawing is something he's still getting comfortable with. Sure enough, we whipped it out as soon as we got settled on board. (I forgot our supplies, though I was able to dig a pen and pencil out of my computer bag, and improvise with what I'm hoping were snack bags). The assignment we chose was left handed portraits of each other, which had us trying to keep our volume down while we were giggling. I was so inspired by him and his portrait of me that I wanted to share his along with mine.

(Yep, that's right. He's a rightie, and drew this with his left!)

You know what else inspires me, and makes me super teary... when he told me, on a couple of different occasions now... that just being around me makes him more creative.

Wait, the story doesn't end here. There's more! While I was at the conference on Saturday I got an email that my place on hold for a book at the library (that I've been waiting patiently and eagerly for) had finally come up. The library was right around the corner from the conference so I was able to pick it up on the way home. It came with on the ferry ride yesterday too, and Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project is exactly what I need to carry the energy from the conference forward and turn my plans into actions. She's right. Some people really do learn from reading others' experiences, even if they are not monumental. Similar to Noelle Oxenhandler's Wishing Year, it seems, so far, to be a great blend of personal goals and triumphs, supported by well researched and enlightening information. I've only made it to the end of January in her journey, and I am already incredibly inspired. Following suit, I'm going to make a monthly chart to track some of my daily goals too :)(I'm actually looking forward to it!) I'm also looking forward to my new early bed time, because built in with that is a half an hour of indulgent reading in bed before lights out. Is it bed time yet? I super excited to see what happens in February of Gretchen's Happiness Project

Oh, I almost forgot. One more thing that I want to share with you. I'm guest blogging on Friday, over in Cinderitaville, the land of inspiration. I was a little stumped what to write about, until my current favourite foliage gave me a nudge on Saturday. Y'all know that I've been completely inspired by our Christmas tree. It became the subject for my camera again, and made it into my 365 project, appearing on day 22. :)

Now on to Monday's Music Moves Me! Yesterday it was recommended that I check out Explosions in the Sky. I've been in need of some good instrumental music to inspire me while focusing on school work or art adventures, and I think I've found it!

Six Word Saturday

every WOMAN 2011 completely energized me!!!